The Bad With the Good
My running log for last week has written, several times, tired legs!
I think I was running faster than normal for a couple of runs, plus I was still recovering from the race.
This morning I cycled 13 miles, then came home and ran 5 miles with some hills and speed in there.
Some days I feel like a rockstar, the workouts are good, I'm positive, it may be hard to start, but I get going and I'm fine!
Other days are just bad running days! What are you gonna do?
Saturday was one of those days for me.
It didn't help that I sort of felt like this, before I even started...
18 miles does that to me sometimes! Why? I've done it before, a few weeks ago I did 16.
It sounds so big! You think that is big, 20 is right around the corner!
Fear!
What exactly is there to be afraid of? I asked myself this while I was out.
What if I can't do it?
What if I can't do it? So!
I have all of the tools and knowledge I need to just keep running!
I prepped well the night before. I was up early to eat.
I had a split personality conversation, you know the one...
'Why are we up in the dark, eating when we don't want to, running 18 miles?'
'We love running remember? We are training for a marathon... that we haven't signed up for yet.'
I filled my bottle w/ Gatorade, more than normal because I planned to be out longer, plus I knew it was going to be hot. I so should've gotten up earlier to head out sooner!
I chose to wear my old shoes, not my Kinvara's. My lower left leg is bugging a little so I thought I'd change it up. That's not a bad idea right?
I headed out a little after 7. I felt good running down my street! The shoes were ok.
By mile 2, oh by mile 2! I was squirting liquid out of my water bottle it felt so heavy!
My shoes felt like bricks... do you know how light the Kinvara shoe is?
It was already 80-90% humid and I was in a mental trap!
I tried to start slow, stay right at an 8/mile. I didn't.
I tried to calm my brain down, and slow my body down.
I kept on chugging.
Man, I don't drink very much on my runs, but I was thirsty!
I took a break at mile 6. I was drenched!
I kept running, heading to Youngs hill. That about killed me! I went up that sllllooooowwww!
My neighbor told me he saw me running up that. I asked if he laughed at me!
Who am I kidding? Has he run up that once? Nope!
I thought to myself that I hate running! I thought I'm not cut out for a marathon. I thought this run was my toughest training run yet... and I didn't even go the full mileage!
Let me tell you this. I had a run like this a couple of years ago while I was debating running my first fall marathon. I felt so defeated that I hadn't run my full 18 miles that I decided to end my marathon training! I remember my neighbor asking how far I'd gone that day and I answered only 11. She snorted, but I felt like I'd failed.
I know better now, I hope!
As I hit mile 11 near my home I decided to put myself out of my misery!
I walked home and lay down on the trampoline and drank like a camel!
Then I checked my watch... 1:23 (7:36 pace).
I did feel discouraged. I felt disappointed in myself. Why couldn't I finish? Why am I so tired? Is it just my brain? I considered heading back out, or finishing later on the treadmill.
After I was rehydrated, I remembered this...
There are bad running days. I have plenty of training time. I can do this! I will do this! I don't need to be afraid!
This is how I need to start all of my scary runs!
I will try again this weekend!
I was able to let it go, and enjoy the rest of my day, only having completed 11 of my 18 miles.
PS, I totally have shin splints and an ache in my arch! I will be back in my regular (minimal) shoes for my outside running! I guess I needed different pain to help me realize my calf thing isn't so bad!
Do you have bad days? Does it affect you?
How do you get past it?