I Am... Words of Affirmation
This week I had lunch with a friend.
It wasn't your usual 'peppy girl', as Kristen calls us, lunch.
It was a 'fill me' lunch.
Again, maybe not the picture you have in your head.
I had lunch with my friend Kristen this week. She is fabulous really.
We don't ever hang out though. Don't know why. We plan to start!
She is an amazing teacher, one of the best Gospel Doctrine teachers EVer.
She seems to think I have something to say as well because our lunch was so I could tell her about the last lesson I taught at church. (She is now teaching the wee kiddies in primary.)
It was a 'feed me' lunch... teach me what you are learning right now. How does the gospel of Jesus Christ apply to you in your life? What are you studying, feed my soul.
We are geeks indeed, but we share a love, and fill a need for each other here!
As we talked, and talked, about many things... barely had time to eat the homemade bread she baked YUM... she told me about a recent workshop she'd gone to. It was about health, and such.
Words of affirmation.
This is what stuck for her. This is what she needed to learn as she attended this.
This is one of the things we talked about.
Today this is one of the things I'm remembering because I need it.
Have you read 'The 5 Love Languages'? I actually haven't, but know enough about it! Someday I'll read it, when I sit down to read 'other' books.
One of the love languages talked about is 'words of affirmation'. The concept that we feel loved by words others say to us, their words of affirmation. Not just the words 'I love you'. But the words that you did well, you are talented, all of those words that lift and affirm.
Call me crazy, but I think MANY women feel love in this manner. Sometimes we define ourselves and our worth by these words, or lack of them.
My Q got in trouble one day and as I talked to her about some changes she needed to make she fell apart and sobbed that I didn't love her and all of those dramatic things! I actually got a little mad... you mean to tell me all of the things I
do
for you count for nothing? All of the time we spend together crafting, talking, snuggling, etc. The laundry, the things I buy, the food I prepare... do you really have proof that I don't love you?
As I looked at her it hit me...
this is who I am
. I'm all well and good until the negative stuff hits. Any negative thoughts or words and it's like all of the positive falls right out of me. In that moment I saw it and I gave her what she needed. I reaffirmed for her my love, but its like my words really didn't make up for anything, or convince her that she is wonderful and good, just needs to make some adjustments, that needed to come from her changing her mind about herself.
Kristen made this point to me. She said it was a blessing she didn't marry a man who gives love by 'words of affirmation'. She needs to learn to give those words to herself.
Words of wisdom. Don't we all? The answer to that is YES, in case you were wondering!
As women especially there is much to get ourselves down about. We are busy looking all around us, comparing ourselves, searching for affirmation from anyplace other than
ourselves
and
God
. AND what are the affirmations that we are looking for? What does it take to be beautiful, or a good mom, or important? Who has defined that for us?
Last week I ran into Darlene... read about that experience
. She needed to be reminded of the truth about who she is. I think we often forget. Who better to remind us of our truth than us!
Today I felt yuck for a minute. I felt hurt... again. I felt my good feelings about myself start to fall out of me.
I thought about Kristen. I said my words to myself. I reaffirmed my truth to me.
In a moment when I could've fallen into sadness I reaffirmed my truth. It lifted me. I think it will take a while for me to maybe fully believe my truth, but as I reaffirm to me, I expect someday I'll listen!
ACTIVITY time!
The instructor gave everyone an assignment. Write your affirmations down on stickies. Put them where you can see them.
My stickies....
My Heavenly Father loves me.
I am beautiful.
PS-
every
woman should have a sticky that says this. This is such a subjective word. Subjective meaning: based on (or related to) attitudes, beliefs, or opinions, instead of on verifiable evidence or phenomenon. There is no way to define beauty, so sometimes we look to the opinions of others to define this... it's not always true. We need to reaffirm to ourselves that whatever we are... we are beautiful.
Matt loves me.
These are ones that I lose and need to reaffirm to myself often.
What are yours?